My Sh(**)’rona: COVID Edition

Well, they **had** XL

Yup.  We got the ‘rona virus here in Tenerife.  The wind is in from Africa (cue Joni Mitchell) this time of year and brings with it a haze of dust.  Initially, we thought it was fog but it is actually a light coating of dust.  I *almost* have asthma and I could feel something.  We just assumed it was the dust.  Walking around town I felt a little punky but Tylenol cleared it right up.  I then noticed I had a slight hint of nausea.  It turns out, those are both symptoms of Omicron.

We decided to test me.  The app wouldn’t let me register. Sorry for the inconvenience. Pandemic. Working on it.  Well, at least you sounded sincere. Eventually we discovered you can take the test via a website.  Abbott really outdid themselves with their foreign call center.  The voyeur with an exotic voice had me test on camera.  For the life of me, I could not understand this person. There may have been a positive line or was I being a hypochondriac? Sir, you must tell me what you see! I heard repeated over and over.  I said, I’m not going to tell you differently because you keep asking, I replied.  Two days later, that puppy was dark.  I had the ‘rona.  We decided Stu should go home so that I would not infect him.  Boarding passes ready, he tests positive.  Woo hoo! Ten more days in Spain together.

If you are going to do it, do it right.

 

We were at a cheesy department story last week and they had these bizarre sweat-pant-union-suit-with hood thing that we decided would be killer for an evening out at Walmart.  It looked comfy but what the hell do you do with it?  We chuckled. We chortled. Dare I say we mocked it?  Well, ours friend’s house is an amazing turn of the century Spanish colonial-style house with 17 foot ceilings—and not heating or cooling.  In addition, you can see the stars from the exposed staircase.  Although mild, it is still Winter here as well as the rainy season. Where’s your onesie now B****?  I so wanted enveloped in that snuggle-able, warm thing. Before Stu got sick, he discovered my size was sold out.  When I recovered, I discovered his size was sold out. It wasn’t meant to be.

I'm pretty sure my personal Lord and Saviour had something to do with this coffee machine.

 

The fridge was stocked and we settled in.  Ironically, I worked on the Castilian version of Babbel to pass some of the time.  (The Latin American version is plain awful).   If you lisp really hard, the software appreciates your authentico Spanish accent.  Stu has been on zoom calls and we have taken turns eating everything in the fridge.  Afterall, I still had my sense of taste. Had.  Today I tried some banana yoghurt.  I told Stu, it didn’t even taste yellow.  I contemplated the best way to describe the flavor and settled on damp.

The Quarantine View

 

There have been a few sunny days in the last week so I have taken to podcasts and sunbathing on the roof. Seriously, I have been blessed, yes blessed, with a very mild case of COVID.  Stu’s is very similar but a few days behind mine.  After completing my isolation, I walked all over the sloped neighborhood above the waterfront and the went swimming in the chilly water at the city pool.  I’ve had labored breathing and feel fatigued but not very challenging. The mask, OMG I can’t breathe! I suspect Stu will be the same way shortly.

 

Flying right now has some serious caveats; Under no circumstances, buy a basic economy fare.  If we didn’t have air miles, we would have coughed up a lot of money to fly home.  The seats had absolutely no changes whatsoever. If you plan on leaving the country (where you need a test to come back), make sure you have a place to stay on the other end. And most importantly, make room in your suitcase for a jersey onesie—it might make the difference.