Bon Appetit

Bon Appetit

Stewed figs, honey, cottage cheese and cream

Stu suggested a food tour.  We never ever do these things but this one sounded fun. A guide walks you around the fish market and describes all of the fish so you know what we might like. This market may be the only one in the world without flies since it is located by a sulphur spring.   We went through our booty as the voyeurous sea gulls watched us.  We opted for the scorpion fish.  They were the color of the devil and apparently have a nasty sting.  She told us the meat was sweet but she failed to mention the cat whisker sized bones.  Every small bit was an adventure.  We also had clams and two prawn--or so we thought.  We got four prawns and fewer clams.  Someone would be missing two prawns. We sat silently and looked at the prawns.  All four of them. They were unbelievably sweet.  Once again, don’t judge me.  The kitchen was overwhelmed by our group and did the best they could.  In the fruit market, we bought figs and cheese for dessert.  Along the way we ran across locals annoyed by the tour and interesting trivia about Croatian life.  She said they never meet in restaurants because they are so loud.  Clearly she has never eaten with Americans.  English speakers speak loud and Americans seem to have the best diaphragms for the task.  We stopped at a vegetable stand at the dirty old lady speaking in Croatian started describing crooked carrots and their suggestive sizes.  Our guide blushing, said, I’m not going to translate that.  She was wearing all black and had a handful of teeth.  I called her a studda bubba.  The guide chuckled and agreed.  She then told us about all the capers growing around the palace and as we came around the corner on cue, we saw a man picking them off the wall.

While the meal was cooking I asked her for a few recipes to make at home and we wrote down the names. Our guide was lovely.  The meal was delightful and I survived a fish dinner.  Dessert was creamed cottage cheese with figs and sweet chunks of cheese. It was unusual but good. What bothered me was the bill.  The amount of the bill was more than reasonable and they charged us nothing extra to cook the food. What they did do, however,  was to jack up the price of the water ridiculously.  It was just unnecessarily petty, so I took the water bottle.  Hell, I more than paid for the deposit.  Don’t judge me.

Fish Market at Split

Grilled squid, scorpion fish

Scorpion fish before

Scorpion fish after- delicious...

Walking Around Split

Walking Around Split

Hills of Split

If you need to sound smart or seriously nerdy at your next function, you can drop the following tidbits.  Daenerys Targaryen's dragons were held here in the palace.  If they swoon, you know they watch Game of Thrones. If they blink blindly, drop fact number two.  This palace inspired the Neoclassical Architectural style that epitomizes Washington, DC.  Without this inspiration, DC could been blessed with a serious putti call of Baroque.

Like Breaking Bad is to Albuquerque, Game of Thrones is to Split.  You can see it in quite a few places.  Aside from bakeries and tacky trinket shops, you can imagine this being the perfect location for exotic anything!

In November 1979, the palace was named a UNESCO Heritage site for its global cultural relevance.  (The Trump administration has pulled out of UNESCO.)  At times, the palace was home to over 9,000 people (most of them selling postcards and really cheesy magnets for your refrigerator today).  It is 2 football fields by 1 ¾ football fields. To put it simple, it’s big.  Originally, the palace’s edge met the sea in case Diocletian needed to get out of town quickly.  Today there is a sprawling promenade of cafes, restaurants, palm trees, and all the expected accompaniments like gelato and newsstands.  Europeans have been coming to Split for some time whereas Americans may not even recognize the name.  Imagine a place that never goes below freezing, has crystal blue water, amazing seafood, palm trees, and a well developed tourist industry.

Initially, this was a problem for me.  We were staying in the heart of the palace.  All roads may lead to Rome but all hallways in the palace led to our apartment.  If you entered the Golden Gate, the main gate to the North, the Sea Gate to the South, the Iron Gate to the West, or the Silver to the East, you were going to easily find out apartment.  We were surrounded by tourists, tourist restaurants, and low-quality overpriced souvenirs.  Initially, I was a little disappointed since it felt like a tourist trap.  If you walked around the palace and marveled at the architecture and experience, all the irrelevance drifted away.   There was music in the corridors, roman arches in all directions, great places to sit and enjoy coffee and some cake.  Every corner of the village was interesting and charming.  You could not take a bad photo.  In one direction was a daily green grocer market and the other a daily fish market with plenty of gelato in between.

Today we decided to walk up the hill to the North?  (Never ask me for directions.  More than 50% of the time I can be 180 degrees wrong).  (West-editor) We have a code when we travel.  No steps.  This was violation number 1.  The street became a hike, and then steps, and then more hill.  It felt like I missed the price of Cream of Wheat on the Price is Right and the mountain climber was yodeling up the hill...and then we missed the price of the Sun Maid Raisins. Damn it was a long hike.  The view from the top of the hill may have been worth the effort.  (Once again, I violated the sacred rule of climbing stairs so it would be hard to admit the walk was worth it).  On our way back, I spotted a snack shop that specializes in chimney cake.  Chimney cake is a piece of yeast dough wrapped around a dowel and placed on a spit.  Apparently it comes from Slovakia but is now made in many places.  In Afrikaans, it is called ‘baguette’ which is just weird because the final product is a hollow tube.  Stu got cinnamon and sugar filled with custard and I opted for Hazelnut and nutella.  They were huge.  The were so big in fact, I had to eat the rest of Stu’s!  Don’t judge me!  I had a sugar buzz for several hours as the insulin coursed through my veins.

Inside the Palace, 20m from our apartment

Local Cakes

Approaching the West Gate...

Diocletian's Palace (detail)

The Riva at sunset, Split Harbor

The view from the Marjan Forest

For auntie

Two if By Sea

Two If by Sea

Well, I guess that's it for Italy for now.  We are off to Croatia--in the freezing rain!  The short trip from

Split, Croatia, at Night

the train station to the boat involved a constant and unpleasant rain.  On the bus we passed a stylized statue of a red horse on the corner of the building.  Upon taking the bus to the terminal, we passed the same horse.  Leaving the terminal we passed yet another the same horse again!  After all the excitement, we passed through customs and eventually boarded the ship.

I wanted Fhlosten Paradise complete with Gemini Croquettes, Stu was thinking more Love Boat (not the two made-for-tv-movies*) but something exciting and new with friendly faces like Julie McCoy, Cruise Director.  Maybe we would see special guest stars such as Susan Anton, Leslie Uggams , or Christopher Mayer from The Dukes of Hazzard. Stu was concerned about the ship based on some of the negative reviews.  We had a cabin with two single beds and they were not bunks.  In addition we had a bathroom complete with shower! (That we didn't use.)  The only thing we could find wrong was that the windows could use Renewal By Andersen.  We went to bed around 8:30 pm and arrived at 6:00 am. I was so damn jet-lagged for someone who slept overnight.  Unfortunately, we could not check into our room for at least another three weeks (perhaps a bit exaggerated).  I drank espresso. Often. I still walked into walls.  We called our host and she said we could arrive much earlier but still an hour later from now.  With the smell of freshly bleached everything, we took a long nap.
*Wikipedia

We woke up in Diocletian's Palace. You heard that right. The fricken palace. When Diocletian became tired of coming up with new and inventive ways to kills holy men, including 10,000 here in Dalmatia*, he decided to retire on the Coast of Croatia.
*Yup, the dog comes from here. Wikipedia

Ravenna, Ohio... Nah Italy

Ravenna, Ohio... Nah Italy

Basilica of San Vitale, Ravenna Italy

It was a nice train ride to Ravenna.  I slept for half of it.  The hotel was right across the street from the train station so we did not have to carry our (damn overpacked American) bags very far.  We really need to review what the hell we brought with us for any future trips.  To be fair, we are going to the land of “no shorts” to the land of “probably wet and cold” then eventually the beach with a splash of nightlife in there along the way.  That makes for a lot of clothes. TIP plenty of AirBnB’s have washers.  Pack belongings accordingly.

The woman behind the counter with the help of ringing an electronic bell that she unplugged to get behind the counter and then plugged the bell in behind her.  Stu knows Spanish and studied Latin so together with hand gestures, he can generally make it work.  After a round of charades in Italian I started heading towards our room.  The nice lady in the lobby pointed the way.  There was a button next to the door but something seemed off.  I pressed the button and the lights turned off.  Perhaps it was one of those elevators you have to wait for.  No, it was a locked broom closet.  I had passed up the stairs.

European 3 star hotels generally are a start below their American Equivalent.  We have lovely pillows, 2 single beds from Father Knows Best or I love Lucy and a bathroom with a bidet!  When I checked for bed bugs (please, don’t make me relive it), I remembered that much of Europe does not have fitted sheets.  God I hate mangling fitted sheets.  I sheet can take up an entire drawer when I am done with it.  Imagine a sad art project in whatever pattern arranged on the sheet.  OH, and we have AC.  That is not too common for a 3 star hotel in Europe.

We dropped our bags and headed to the museums, or in this case, churches and stuff. The entire museum card was 12 Euros.  Florence was like 80? Venice cost 24 Euros (we used it once).  One thing lacking (a bit) about Venice is that, although there are great artists from there,  in that era the Church was the greatest patron.  At its height, it was a city of trade and ducats.  Being less religious, Venice wasn’t a good town to put pasta on the table for the bambinos per se.

Back to Ravenna.  It looks nothing like Ohio.  No Dairy Queen or Burger King.  The city is very old but you can’t exactly see it from the streets.  It looks pretty average on Sunday.  When we visited the religious sites, everything changed. We first visited a church off the beaten path.  I think it was called Our Lady of the Tumors.  Yes, that was the actual name.  We missed the mass for the parishioners afflicted with boils.  Damn, just when I needed some Clearasil.  Next we went to the Basilica of San Vitale.   Let me step back a sec.  Ravenna was take over by the Ostrogoths.  They were also Christian, but like those Mormons, had a slightly different spin on things.  Their artwork shows Christ aging and human unlike the Jesus-as-God-on-Earth flavor preferred by the locals.

Out of fear of invasion from the North, the emperor moved headquarters from Milan to Ravenna in 402AD.  As a result, the city contains some of the most incredible intact Byzantine mosaics spread among several locations.  If you are travelling through Italy and need a slow but incredible day, you cannot skip this city.  It was like I had dislodged my jaw upon entering these chambers.  I cried, I thanked God for the blessing of enjoying what was in front of me, and the opportunity to see it.  I understand God through art.  I feel such peace and awe in the presence of something so monumental. I feel small.  It feels intimate.  I imagine that is what it is like to try and envision God.  I also have trouble imagining that people didn’t have higher inspiration. These structures were built from love, sweat, and the glory to God.  For these reasons, I love religious art.  I wish I had taken a pre-renaissance art class.  I can’t even remember where I saw what.  It was all mind-blowing and dazzling in a way only the medium of mosaic can be.  I’ll try not to blow up your inbox.  I would love to show you so many more in person.  Remember, these are not paintings but are mosaics.

                           Altar, San Vitale

This church was quite unusual.  It is (possibly) the first piece of art to name the Three Kings,  Balthasar of Arabia, Melchior of Persia, and Gaspar of India.  The church is also believed to show the first artistic image of the devil. He is depicted as a blue angel behind Christ in the parable the Sheep and the Goats. 

                         San Vitale

                           San Vitale

                    Neonian Baptistry

                 Crypt of Galla Placida

           Basilica of Sant' Appolonare

                  Sant' Appolonare

                   Sant'  Appolonare

Burano & Tocello, Islands Off Venice, Italy

Burano & Torcello, Islands Off Venice, Italy

Basilica of Santa Maria Assunta, Torcello

We took the boat the Burano and Torcello today.  Torcello was the first ‘it’ place around the island.  Most likely, the plague wiped all but the bathroom lady and her housemates.  She made good money. The island has few inhabitants.

By the way (as a relevant tangent), bathrooms in Venice are far-and-few between and cost a euro fifty.  It cost more to pee than to drink the water than made it.  Espresso and acqua do not engender confidence on the streets. I expressed my outrage once I was cranky. We first purchased six 1.5 L bottles of frizzante water only to leave most of it in the room.  I was too worried about being caught without a bathroom.  In the back of my mind, i wanted to pee in a corner, any corner.  The problem is there are people anywhere, just anywhere.  Rick Steeve’s said there is nowhere to sit in Venice.  He wasn’t kidding.  There is nowhere to really sit without a fee.  I can’t imagine children begging to gelato and bathrooms with little stamina.

Back to the plot.  Torcello had an amazing restaurant (or at least so we were told).  We found the restaurant was there when we reached Burano, the next island.  Torcello had a wonderful old cathedral that aggravated my mold sensitivity.  I hung in there as we perused the church with an audio guide.  The back of the church had this massive and wild mosaic with all the themes one would expect; the resurrection, descent into hell, Mary as the champion of the people of the world, and those inevitably saved and damned by angels and demons.

I had my doubts about Burano but the island was 5 minutes from Tercello unlike Venice which was another 45 minutes back.  The island was overrun and very touristy.  It was, however, enjoyable to see.  You know all those Sherman William’s paints that were mixed wrong for the colorblind?  I know where they went…  Actually, I loved the colors.  Magenta next to lemon, violet next to lime.  The colors were dazzling and the walls still had stucco to affix paint.  The sun was starting to get the better of us and we headed back to the boat to Venice.  The 45 minute ride where we got seats was delightful.  Let the peasants stand I tell you!

Burano Residence

Family friendly fun!  Everyone in Venice simply must take a gondola ride.  Can you smell the sarcasm? For 160 Euros by day and 200 Euros by night, the ride is a steal.  Not many of the gondoliers where singing, wearing the right shirt, or wearing the hat.  For 180 Euro, put on your drag and prep your pipes.  You will be singing.  Tidbit, the water is so shallow that gondolas were the preferred mode of transport with the oars scooting along the bottom of the canals.  When a gondolier dies, the license transfers to the family.  No NYC taxi medallion mischief.  I suspect the same is true for the lucrative bathroom trade.

Stu!

We had a fancy dinner twice in Venice.  The less I spend, the more I can see.  One was good, one was bad, and both were memorable.  The good one had a loud piano but a happening crowd the previous night.  Stu had his heart set on this particular restaurant that seemed popular with the locals so we braved the music.  The waiter was a character and kept bringing us little plates of things to try with beaming pride.  The cynical side of us was thinking, How much is this going to cost? We ordered polenta with oyster mushroom and roasted red peppers.  It was lovely.  The piano stopped when half of Venice came in for a party.  The place went from us to everyone.  The bill was under 35 Euros.  Restaurant number two could probably count as a tourist trap with ok food and a bill closer to 50.  The waiter, however, seemed like a rent boy, chatting us up.  We have a cheeky friend in Chile who would have tested the waters.  “Just the bill please”, and we went on our way.

It was getting late and we rushed back to our room.  The mask shop had closed but there was a woman working inside who let us shop.  I got the plague mask that I wanted.  The penance is carrying it. All. Over. Europe. for the next five weeks.

We woke up, tidied the place headed to Ravenna.  I hear it’s only a half-hour from Canton and Akron  but I may be wrong.

Church from Torcello (above).  It was impossible to sneak any pics inside these churches.  The island of Torcello was the first Venetian island settled as the people fled the Goths. Years later the real estate bubble hit or perhaps it was the plague. Fewer than 25 people now live there. The rest commute from the mainland. It takes 45 minutes to get to Torcello and the perhaps another trip to the island of Venice.

Nice Door (Yeah, just a door)

Color of Burano

Canals of Burano