Let There Be Haggis!

Let There Be Haggis!

Mmmm...haggis

We finally made it to our final destination in Europe.  Edin'brah, Scotland.  This was more of a two day layover. In Spain, dinner could start at 11 pm, we remembered that the UK slows down a lot earlier.  Kitchens are closed by 9 pm.  The city is pretty quiet by 10.

Arriving at the train station my first thought was, wow this place is white.  Some of these people could get a sunburn under a full moon.  I think the tall socks go with the kilt to minimize the area of exposure.  One guy in shorts had alabaster legs the color of a freshly thawed Butterball turkey.  These people made me look tan.  Ok, you get the point.

The high street in Edinburgh connects the castle on one end to one of the Queen's palace on the other end.  Along the way are the expected pubs, restaurant, and kilt sellers.  What kind of kilt do you want? Off the rack? Wool? Polyblend? Or even Custom.  Do you come from a clan?  Everybody has a book to help you trace your family name.  Stu's family come from the Crawford clan.  It is not a popular clan probably because the last of the Crawfords in Scotland had a fire sale and emigrated to America.  It is a perdy plaid, none-the-less.  There were also specialty shops that could custom tailor a wool 3-piece suit complete with jacket, vest, and well, kilt (duh).  They were quite dashing to see in the windows but at 900 or so dollars, you better look good.

I joked that we would see these nasty Toby Jugs on our trip.  They are caricature of people made into mugs.  Watch the British Antiques Roadshow.  They show up all the time.  Horrid things they are.  

Ugly Racism 

We were shopping I was dragging Stu from shop to shop to find something interesting to take home.  One shop had a Sikh man out front and my first impression was, oh God, foreign tourist trap.  Since every shop looked identical after a while, we stumbled upon his shop.  Remember, he was Sikh.  Britain, um, helped them run their country for a while, kinda?  Many Sikh had immigrated a long time ago, some multi-generational.  With his Scottish accent and much pride, he described the quality of his goods.  He explained why his wool was of higher quality, thus justifying the higher price tags.  He also told us about some good deals he had on one-off pieces he attained at good prices.  He pointed out the quality shops and told us where the junk shops were located on the mile.  He even defended the cheap Chinese-made shops.  Some people just want a cheap souvenir instead of the real-deal, he said.  He went on to say that if you want quality, it costs money.  He loved wool and loved to share his trade.  I started thinking, hey, I think I would look nice in a cap.  (In the end New Mexico won out over a wool cap.)  Every shop had foreigners working in retail with Scottish accents.  This man actually owned his shop.  Since he wasn't white, I had assumed he "wasn't authentic"--whatever the hell that means.  Sigh. Always an opportunity to learn.

Stu's Crawford Clan Tartan

We got to eat a few meals in Scotland as well.  We went for Sunday roast.  By 4 pm, it was sold out.  I got the fish and chips, Stu pouted ordered the meat pie.  We ordered two non-alcohol beers called "Hee Haw".  We found the name amusing and I instantly thought about being trapped at grandpa's house on Sunday nights.  He watched Hee Haw. Every. Sunday.  The waitress asked us if we knew what hee haw meant in Scottish. We blinked and she said it mean you ain't gettin' nuttin' like what we havin' for tea, mum? You getting hee haw, now go to bed. I politely asked her about haggis. She said everyone who has had it has actually liked it--but sadly they were out of it as well.  Bummer.

I was at a car boot sale and it was marked 25p...

A joke sometimes maintained is that a haggis is a small Scottish animal with longer legs on one side, so that it can run around the steep hills of the Scottish highlands without falling over. According to one poll, 33 percent of American visitors to Scotland believed haggis to be an animal.  In reality it is sheeps 'pluck' a minced combination of heart, liver, and lungs with spices. One article describes a conversation with a chef  "...Leave the windpipe out of the pan to disgorge the phlegm.”  Oh---and boil it in tripe. Mmmmm.

Santa was one BAAAD dude!

The next day we ate at the home of Scotland's best scone, a cheese scone.  Stu ordered one with butter.  I opted for the cherry one with clotted cream and jam.  It is so hard to find a passable scone in the States.  These were amazing. For dinner, we both had fish and chips.  See a pattern?  We also had....a haggis starter.  It was now or never baby.  It arrived on a small round of mashed potatoes. It was dark and minced.  We both picked up our forks like we were concerned about our culinary growth.  If the guys on the Discovery Channel can eat bugs, surely I can eat the stuff rescued from skips.  We waited to see each others reaction.  We didn't die. Stu thought it was ok.  I really liked it--probably because the similarities to its contents were ground to bits.  It had a strong taste of peppercorns.  I ordered it on a pulled pork sandwich the next day.  Yes.  I'm a badass.  Our host told us vegetarian haggis is quite good.  I am going to try to make it.  I can see where root vegetables and grain would work with the peppercorns.

Christ in the House of Martha and Mary by Vermeer.  One of only 34-37 known paintings!

To play tourist, we decided on the National Gallery and the Castle.  The National Gallery was free and absolutely amazing.  The entire collection was strong including a Vermeer, three Raphaels, a couple Degas and the Gaugin masterpiece, Vision after the Sermon.  I just stood there staring at the painting.  I had no idea it was hiding out in Scotland. I smiled. I started. I was happy. Stu texted me to ask where I was.  I responded, Still in the same room.  I remember the room also had a Van Gogh and a nice Sargent.  The collection was unexpected and delightful.

Gaugin, Vision after the Sermon

We went to the castle to discover they were giving something away for free. Well, at least it looked like that since it was so crowded.  The herd was activating my anxiety.  Maybe I could just call it $20 to get away from the people?  Once we were in the castle my anxiety and the crowd were more manageable.  I thought the experience was more enjoyable than the Tower of London.  The Tower was £27 over 15 years ago.  Like Star Wars, I had seen the entire Tower on TV before visiting it so there was nothing new except the crown jewels displayed briefly via conveyor belt.  I didn't know what to expect in this castle so everything was a surprised.  It was not nearly as grand but still a beacon of Scottish pride.  The building were arranged like a small maze and I constantly had to think if I had seen it before.  Stu said, yes you have. Over. And. Over. The first time (again) is always the best.