Water Water Everywhere

Water Water Everywhere

Why is water so hard in Europe?  Am I being pedantic, perseverating, or providing an exclusive on this elusive issue?  What you don’t know can ruin your day.  News at 11.

Let us wade into the problem easily.  If you are moving around Europe, the weather can vary greatly. Drizzle in the Benelux area of The Netherlands, Belgium, and Luxembourg is considered a 'nice' day.  Other parts of Europe may or may not get rain at certain times of the year.  Travelling between countries can complicate packing.

You arrive at your destination and decide to take a shower.  Did you remember (if necessary) to turn on the hot water tank or does the system use an 'on demand' system?  In many countries, there is no thermostat attached to the 'on demand' system.  Many showers have an on/off and a temperature knob. If you do not pay attention, the water may melt anything near the faucet including the marble sink or all your nerve endings.  If you were staying at our apartment in Rome, you might wonder if the kitchen even had hot water.  It never got warm.

It was a long flight and you need to use the bathroom.  Why isn't the toilet in the room with the shower?  It might be hiding in another closet.  Ok, how do you flush.  Do not panic.  There is a button or rope somewhere. Calm your breathing and explore.  You may be expected to use a common toilet brush after each use.  If you are in a fancy place, perhaps there will be a water fountain for your butt—the fabled bidet.  If you are in a horror film and the screams are coming from inside your head, you may find a shared garden hose and a squat toilet.  Nothing feels more Third World than hiking down your pants and placing your feet on the footplates for aim.  You wonder if something, perhaps a scarf or shirttail,  is oh, swaying in an unfortunate location between you and the floor.

Evil

Laundry.  Perhaps I should stop here.  After five years of living in Europe, I still do not know how to use a washer in Europe. I remember coming into work after using my first washer and an American colleague came to the same conclusion—it takes six hours to use a washer between the manual and wash cycle.  All washers are small front-loaders which heat the water themselves.  Aside from diapers, who needs to wash clothes at 200F?  There are also not many buttons, knobs, or glyphs yet they don't seem to behave in any predictable manner. Forget to put something in the washer after the door locks?  You may be screwed for the next three loud hours or so.  Even after the cycle ends. The door unlocks at some random time of its choosing.

Water Goes in, Water Goes Out

My favorite Fanta, Cassis Flavored and a Bottle of Spa Red

Each country has a different kind of water.  Of course there is a new name for the agua, but did you want that with bubble, without bubbles, natural bubbles, or tap water?  The same brand of water in Holland (that is Belgian) is called 'red' for bubbles and 'blue' for still water reflecting the color of the labels.  This trick fails to work in Belgium, even though it is their brand called Spa.  How big is the bottle?  In the Benelux, a bottle of water is much smaller than a bottle of beer yet can still cost close to three dollars.

And finally, Where is the public toilet?  You are not in Kansas anymore, Toto.  Most places charge for bathrooms.  A little over a dollar seems to be common these days.  Don't tip all your coins in restaurants, you may have an emergency.  A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse! comes to mind.  Sometimes you will pay anything for a restroom—assuming you can find one.  There are now bathroom apps, but they cannot keep up with my incredibly-shrinking-capacity.

Majestic-When They Can't Get to You