Back in Amsterdam

We Zijn Terug!  (We're Baaaack)

Arm's Length Selfies are so Flattering, Even if You Are Giving a Soldier Tongue- Rembrantplein

For the first few days we lazily flopped around our friends' apartment.  I was a best man in their wedding at least a year or so ago.  I'm getting old so I can't remember the exact date.  I love their pad.  It is an old warehouse converted into flats resembling lofts with a few extra rooms.  We overtook the computer room with bags and slept in bunk beds. Actually, we slept in a double bed above a couch.  With the ladder, it was still bunky.  I carefully tied my PAP hose and mask to the bed so it would not dangle below the machine.  Fun fact.  Did you know if you allow the mask to hang lower than the machine it will siphon water onto the floor.  If I were (notice the use of the subjunctive) using the correct water, it would leave no trace of minerals. Fortunately, I had learned this earlier thus saving Tim and Peter wooden floors.  We went from touring Europe to living again for a short time in Europe.  We went to the (evil) supermarket Albert Heijn and purchased a few of our favorites; cumin cheese (for Mark), peach yoghurt drink (for Mark), raspberry yoghurt drink (for Mark), light chocolate/vanilla pudding (for Mark), black currant pop (for Mark), raisin rolls (for Stu) Calve peanut butter (for Stu) and sparkling water.

Evil Albert Heijn owns most stores in the center of the city.  The charge extra for the convenience of having all the items in one place.  You know, a supermarket.  Evil.  Last year, they only took cash. More evil. They have opened up mini-stores throughout the city to cater to tourists with jacked-up prices. Even evil-er. Living in Holland, I remember they made sure they ran out of bread at night so none would go stale.  I also recall no eggs one Easter. On the other hand, Albert Heijn has amazing house brand products next to typically one name brand equivalent.  They own several American supermarket chains. There are more markets than ever, but Ahold sells a quality product at a premium price.  They are still evil.

We got home and I discovered in my excitement I had made a few mistakes in my purchases.  The peach yoghurt drink was yoghurt.  Yoghurt in Holland comes in milk cartons.  I miss buying it this way as it goes great on cereal.  The raspberry yoghurt was a drink---but diet.  A country full of emaciated tall people and they sell diet yoghurt.  By the way, I can't think of any synonyms for yoghurt.   Living in Holland we also developed a taste for cheese.  We know good cheese--or at least a lot better than we used to.  The cumin cheese was not strong enough.  My fault.  You really need to go to your cheesemonger.  Everyone has a favorite, natuurlijk (of course).  I also tend to judge sparkling water.  Is it bubbly enough? Is it salty?  What a whiny poof.  We left a lot of water in Venice behind.  my almost-50-year-old bladder wasn't up to hunting for bathrooms at a 1.80$ a pop.  I'll take dehydration over dancing to pee every time.  The Dutch have a solution to the problem.  They have outdoor urinals all over the city that smell amazing.  A mass-bathroom-accident left behind at a closed nursing home comes to mind.  Like I said, amazing. I read some ever-liberal San Franciscans were resisting pissoirs.  You can see men's legs when they are in use and I don't recall anyone ever being mugged or arrested using one. It is such a civilized invention.

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